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That was the week that was, or TWTWTW to our many clients. Read, digest
and be informed of current market and sector happenings, as our analysts
take their weekly look at the week about to end. Pacy, witty, but always
on the mark. TWTWTW is a must read.
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FTSE100 4402
DJIA 10248
NASDAQ 1956
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£/$ 1.7688
£/Euro 1.4260
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Seasons Greetings
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"It's that time of year again" when you do things that you'd rather not
have, and then choose selective memory for the New Year. On the topic of
memories, we offer a selection of the choice cuts from the much loved
"and finally" section of TWTWTW. The team will be setting off for ski
resorts, warmer climes and the Stirlingshire hills this week-end,
returning (hopefully) in January 2004. All that remains is for us to
wish you a very Merry Christmas and Prosperous 2004. Oh, and finally, we
hope the man in the red suit is kind to you.
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and finally 24/1/03
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" Toast to the lassies " One of our contacts reports of the madness affecting property valuations in “Auld Reekie” (Edinburgh, to some of our readers) where it has become the topic of conversation at all sorts of gatherings (dinner, cocktails, Brownies, school gates etc). There are more “secondary” estate agents than you can shake a stick at. We are reminded that furniture on a pavement in Edinburgh is most likely a street café, whereas in Glasgow it is an eviction! Finally, finally, it was one of our gangs pleasure to be the proposer of the "toast to the lassies" at the Finlayson Wagner Black Burns supper last night in the wood panelled halls of the Royal Burgess golf club in Edinburgh. A glittering cast of hundreds, decorations worn, ate fine food and enjoyed good company. Replying on behalf of the “lassies” was Annabel Goldie, LLB, MSP, and member of the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party. We understand she gave Mr McCall a good kicking, showing off her combatative style from the Parliament debating Chamber. After what he said to her, he deserved it!
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and finally 7/2/02
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" I'm sorry, it's a bummer" Imagine receiving a company wide voice mail from the CEO of Goldman's, arguably the most effective Investment Bank in the world, apologising over what he said about you, to a gathering of Analysts (from competitor banks) last week. He reportedly said that 15-20% of staff added 80% of the value. Harsh, yes, but probably true, although finding even 15% who do anything in an investment bank might be a task too far! What made us smile was the company wide voicemail, so either he went through the phone list (doubtful) or used a software solution. Very sincere though, when several thousand colleagues got the same one. Finally, finally, what a bummer! We hear from the arctic wastes of Inverness that the local Football (sic) team’s physio has a new sponsor in the form of Willie Finlayson of FWB in Edinburgh. Nothing to do with her being an attractive girl, who must be good for a decent muscle massage of course! In any event, the sponsorship allows the FWB initials on her bottom, being the main part on show when she is administering the magic sponge! Steady, all you men over 40! We’re soliciting suggestions for the meaning of FWB – and it’s not “fat wobbly bit”!
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and finally 14/2/03
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A Saint Valentine’s Day ditty . As we went to the riverbank, my heart went all a quiver. She then undid her suspender belt, and splash! A wooden leg fell in the river. .........
Talking of dressing down (tenuous link) we note the boys and girls of JP Morgan are being urged to smarten up their act and “shave, shine and use a steam iron” whilst a ban on handheld computers at meetings (gameboys) is enforced. We have to wonder what they had deteriorated to, as dressing down in the City usually meant “smart casual” (chinos, blazer, open necked, but expensive double cuffed shirt, and unlaced shoes) rather than Seattle (what is deodorant?) grunge. We’ll continue to have a “dress appropriately” policy to suit (no pun intended) the situation. As the old Stock market rhyme used to say. Trousers should have braces, shoes should have laces, and only potatoes wear jackets, and gentlemen wear coats. Of course there are exceptions, like our colleague who had 3 unexplained ball gowns in his car the other day! Finally, finally, finally, go on, and give someone you love some shares in a split -cap investment trust! We have one final plea from a regular reader of TWTWTW to say hello to "Bunnikins" from "Big Boy" and wish her a happy lovey dovey Valentines Day. Glad we could be of assistance, and we'll be releasing the name of the person concerned next week.
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and finally 7/3/03
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“Is there an electrician handy! ” Imagine our surprise when the McCall & Partners office was plunged into darkness one morning earlier this week and our power savers underscored why we should all have them. It was a windy day, and two intrepid woodsmen (we’ll refer to them as Rodney & Delboy for the moment) set off to remove some limbs of a tree, which were considered to be “dangerous”. Up they went with all the protective gear of an NFL player and got to work. What happened after a “bang” we are sure residents of western Edinburgh heard, can only be described as the Stirlingshire version of the “Chandelier” episode of “Only fools and horses” as the offending limb crashed to the ground, bumping an electricity pole, causing the lines to “wave” and eventually touch, and blow the main box mounted on an adjacent pole some 400 yards away in the field populated by heavily pregnant sheep. One hour later, the professionals from Hydro Electric arrived and fixed the problem, but we are sure they wondered who had tied a blue climbing rope to a tree, which looked as though it had a freshly sawn off branch (Rod and Del had since absconded of course). Therefore, on behalf of Delboy and Rodney, we apologise to the residents of Kippen, Arnprior and Buchlyvie who were probably without power on Wednesday morning, and the sheep who are about to go into the lambing season. We can only praise the Hydro chaps wholeheartedly. Finally, finally, on the subject of electricity, whilst fiddling around on the cross trainer in the gym, we often wonder what happens to the collective “wattage” generated by the collection of people doing their stuff? Is Esporta really a proxy utility? We also wonder why the music is “pulse garage” or some other thumping concoction, when the average age of those exercising is 30+. Is McCall the only man listening to Classic FM, because he doesn’t know which is the artist and which is the song when the captions come up on MTV! Finally, finally, finally, with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Cokey," died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.....and then the trouble started. Late news McKinsey London beat McKinsey New York.
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and finally 14/3/03
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'' Red Nose Day 2003 '' Finally, with red nose day upon us, we think it was a marked piece of foresight and planning by the BVCA to hold their annual dinner in Glasgow last night to afford the attendees the cover of having real red noses this morning. Then again, VC’s and forward planning might be considered by the actuaries amongst you as a contradiction in terms, or even mutually exclusive. Then “on the other hand”, as our resident economist is known to say, it might just have been a collision of unforeseen events that all turned out well in the end. The “Consultants” among you are already devising a methodology and 23 slide presentation around the ethereal concept to sell to clients, and the lawyers are disagreeing with the framework and calculating a fee note. The accountants are independent these days, so will express no view and issue a 300 word disclaimer around that “no view” whilst the clearing bankers are wondering about the covenant. Finally, the merchant bankers are asking for the wine list from last night! Finally, finally, in the week where War seemed to be the only talking point around the chattering tables we frequent, we know that Britain has gone to the dogs with the news that those pillars of establishment, Oxford and Cambridge Universities, will award a full “blue” for ballroom dancing. Now we know they have produced some fancy, dancing, quickstepping, politicians and diplomats in their time, but ballroom dancing! Finally, finally finally with another fire-fighter strike announced - we revert to a childhood memory of the Trumpton fire brigade band playing us out at the end of each episode, while the people from Trumpton and nearby areas listened and watched. - Can you name the firemen ? (answers to twtwtw@mccallpartners.com). Why this did not clash with the six o'clock dance at Chigley remains a mystery !
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and finally 28/3/03
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“What do you think, Mary Poppins?” said the man with the dodgiest cockney accent in movie history. She wiggled her nose, straightened her hat, and burst into song with that perfect pitch soprano voice. “Supercaley, arefantastic, celticareatrocious”. The old ones are the best! Proving that there is no legislation for success or failure. We hear that Mr Finlayson, the sponsor of the Caley physio’s bottom, came down from cloud nine on Wednesday, and his son now reckons that beating the old firm in the cup is something his team does for fun! Football, now there is an investment opportunity! Not. Finally, finally, our office was "buzzed" on Wednesday afternoon by an old WWII Hurricane for no reason other than gardener Tom had lit the mother and father of a bonfire (we think he is a descendant of Fawkes) and we can only assume the pilot thought we were marking the landing strip. Finally, finally, finally, we caution those of you venturing to the Hong Kong 7's this week-end, that there is a very nasty dose of 'flu doing the rounds. According to one CEO we work with, it is only combated by copious amounts of liquid refreshment, excluding water, fruit juices and soft drinks. That's why the tournament is the HK 14's for many!
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and finally 2/5/03
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‘Oh, come away in laddie! ’ Whilst whiling away the hours at Stanstead on Wednesday evening thanks to Easyjet, (“if you’re late, we won’t wait” being a one sided contract), although a valid excuse was advanced in that the plane was struck by lightening. We were drawn to the advertising campaign greeting those returning to various cities in Germany. “Invade Germany!” is hardly politically correct these days, however, the French passengers wanted a UN resolution to veto, whilst those going to Poland!! Finally, finally, many of you will be waking up in the splendour of Gleneagles this morning, having celebrated success at the Entrepreneurial Exchange gathering. Despite a sterling effort from the entrepreneurs, the bar remained stocked all night and into the early hours, in stark contrast to the aftermath of the Russell Watson concert last week. Proving, we are sure, something, and if we work it out we’ll let you know! Finally, finally, finally, in visiting his rural polling station yesterday McCall senior was greeted like a long lost relative by the staff at the village hall, as their “first one in several hours”. That’s the hurly burly of rural politics for you. If only the turnout on Edinburgh’s roads was as apathetic.
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and finally 9/5/03
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“It’s an ill wind that blows” The storm on Wednesday night played havoc with many of the newly bloomed fruit trees in orchards, and displaced various pieces of garden furniture still in situ from our “summer” during April. We understand that various toys in gardens around the Stirlingshire area relocated. With that in mind, commuters took no chances, although one lady driver ahead of one of our number in a line of traffic drove over a “log” on the road, and lost most of her exhaust. Our man (very gallant) went to the aid of the driver and was asked what she should do. On suggesting “phone for help” she didn’t have a phone, and when she was asked if she merely didn’t see the rather large target on the road she replied, “I thought I’d make it”! Obviously she was a stunt driver in the wrong car, and had taken the one that couldn’t jump over obstacles that morning. One nil for Kwik-Fit. Ah yes the summer of 2003 was great – 4 weeks of dry warm weather in April, followed quickly by autumn in May! Finally, finally, we had to laugh at the “swearing in” (sic) ceremony at the Scottish Parliament (temporary residence) earlier in the week. We had to laugh or we’d have wept at our appointed representatives and their antics. We suggest that the electorate votes to rotate the running of the country to some well organised nursery groups, with the rule that anyone over the (mental) age of 4 need not apply.
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and finally 23/5/03
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'' Vougie Dipond, home alone! '' It was a tremendous week for sport with the England team meeting Nelson Mandela, and of course, Jackie Bird (BBC news anchor) meeting Rod Stewart. (note the contrast). We were delighted to see our licence fee being well spent by the old BBC as hordes of freeloaders, sorry reporters, spent much of the last week in Seville as Celtic lined up against some unknown team from Portugal. BBC network, BBC Scotland, BBC Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio Scotland had all of their usual punditry teams on show, with the obligatory news teams running around too. Pity there was no-one left back in Queen Margaret Drive (exception being Vougie Dipond, the man who mixes his words up – stick to the drums we say) to cover the evacuation and bomb disposal unit turning up at a block in St Vincent Street, Glasgow. As the master of “talking nonsense”, Chic “cheeky chappie” Young would say, “hey, hey”! Although we didn't quite understand the questioning of his religion, or that he was a Muslim of the Shiite sect. We think that's what was said! Finally, finally we have mentioned the 3i gathering above, but feel slightly put out that we were invited under false pretences. Our invitation certainly mentioned two nights at Gleneagles, but imagine our disappointment that is was Sir George and Sir Robert, and no accommodation was forthcoming.
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and finally 27/6/03
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" The answer is obviously, Yes!" From our Italian correspondent (in reality “checking e-mail now and then correspondent”) we hear that fluorescent swimming costumes are in this year for Romans, but why the female wearers need to bring even more attention to their rear ends with g-strings defeats us. It makes the dreaded question “does my *** look big in this?” absolutely ridiculous, because the simple answer is, that anything would look big against 4mm of cloth. We also report by way of statistics that; the Smart car is popular in Italy because you can park (abandon) it “back end in” to a “space”, scooters still sell, and tomorrow will do, unless you are driving on a roundabout, where it seems everything had to happen yesterday. Designed by computers, made by robots, driven by Italians! Finally, finally from the other side of the equation. When a relative is on holiday and you are responsible for feeding sundry cat and goldfish what do you do when on opening the kitchen door, with your 4 year old son leading the way, the cat is in the middle of the floor stiff as a board!? The answer, is of course, bury her in a deep hole in the garden and explain to the relative she’s “passed away” and ignore the advice of your 4-year-old son and “put her back in her bed and Gran will think she’s sleeping”.
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and finally 4/7/03
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" Things get nazi in Italy" Sun loungers yes, movies no" From our erstwhile Italian correspondent, surprising news that there is no media uproar in Italy over the comments made by President Berlusconi, which is possibly because he owns most of the media. As we said a few weeks ago, having to pass a law banning the prosecution of a President just isn’t cricket. One of our readers suggested the European Parliament should sing a chorus or two of a little ditty called “shudupayurface!” made famous by some talentless person in the hit parade some time in the last century. Finally, finally, it is that time of year when Americans (well some of them, well, a very small proportion of them) venture to Europe and even visit the "City of Scatland", whilst visiting England. This uttering was heard whilst at the top of the Wallace Monument earlier in the week (note the use of the word monument) – “wow, he (Wallace) would have been able to see everything from up here then”. “Absolutely madam, if he had managed to avoid attending his own execution 700 years earlier, and invented longevity pills!” Finally, finally, finally, a very happy 4th of July to those of you who are, as we raise a fine china cup of earl grey (fully taxed) in honour of your day.
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and finally 18/7/03
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"Newbridge - car park or roundabout?" Aren’t those behind the planning (sic) of roadwork’s terrific? We think not! Imagine our joy of a meeting in Edinburgh at 10am and the knowledge that all of the early morning traffic and Newbridge “car park” (AKA a roundabout) would be missed, as one of our number sped in, unabated, from sleepy Stirlingshire, where the only thing keeping us awake are the “airguns” local farmers are using to keep pesky birds off arable crops right now. Oh horror, as a yellow sign (with very poor grammar) came into focus, after sitting in a long line of traffic from Corstorphine, explaining that a short stretch of road at Roseburn would be closed for a ridiculously long time. With Edinburgh limbering up for Festival City time, and most sane local residents capturing some decent Schedule E income, and beetling off to Toscano (Tuscany for those who don’t have the lingo) there could hardly be a worse time to close off one of the main arteries in to the City. The only positive news, is the delay (outside a car dealership) confirmed our view that the new Mini is indeed a very smart little car, the old Kwik-Fit headquarters is “under offer” and the house next to one of the many hotels on the Murrayfield stretch has been bought, currently has its insides kicked out, and looks to be having a very costly refurb. Finally, finally, we offer our best of luck to those involved with the “Open Championship” this weekend, in the knowledge that our old friend and colleague Mr Robertson is running the scoring system. Just how the whole thing comes together we have no idea, but his arithmetical wizardry is a sight to behold! Socks and shoes off.
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and finally 1/8/03
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"3G or not 3G, we know!" Having taken delivery (eventually) of a new 3G phone, albeit we are in a 2G area, the initial verdict doesn’t underpin the billions the Chancellor managed to con/vince the various operators that they should invest/burn shareholders funds on such things. If you imagine a Star Trek communication device, the sort used just before the guy wearing a red shirt was zapped, with no touch screen technology, you are there. Add a bit of cumbersome typing, and crazy ideas on connectivity and you could almost have one in the palm of your hand right now! Having waited in a queue for 18 minutes to have the brick activated, we’ve managed to do little with it so far that can’t be done with a mobile phone. However, we can say in it’s favour are the ringtones, “Hungarian Dance” had McCall junior (the one who found the dead cat re TW a few weeks ago) dancing around like a Russian Cossack, “Dog Bark” was described as the dog’s (spaniel) friend phoning her and Wagner’s “Valkyrie” is actually “kill the wabbit” from Bugs Bunny. So our winning combination of Bluetooth cellphone linked to iPAQ is still ahead, and satisfying our requirements, although it is nice to know we have instant child entertainment in reserve. 3G or not 3G? We think not!
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and finally 12/9/03
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"Is that green velvet jacket crushed?" What a gala event the Insider Dealmakers dinner was earlier this week, with the good, the bad and the ugly (not just all at my table) on show for all to see. Having witnessed Hugh Craigie-Halkett being torn to shreds (and the importance of that phrase will become apparent soon), for wearing a crushed velvet jacket, and witnessed someone called Ricky (who works for Barclays, or perhaps used to) being slaughtered by Rob Brydon (the man behind Marion & Geoff, and “toilet duck”), you would think that a sensible audience would keep their heads down. But no, with some rather unpleasant Rioja coursing through their bloodstream, two unlikely souls were encouraged to make like “Tom & Jerry” as Rob did his voiceover for the Ford Mondeo ad (apparently that is a car – given most of you drive something German). An excellent evening with a serious edge, and we congratulate all of those who won awards, and particularly those we have had the pleasure of working with in the last year.
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and finally 19/9/03
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" Vortex of hormones over Stirlingshire" With unemployment falling (albeit the methodology has changed so often, it is hard to know what the real number is). There was a very interesting ad in this week’s FT (Tuesday). Chief Executive for Scottish Enterprise, even though the present incumbent has resigned but seems still to be there. We wondered if this was confusing the man in the plastic box where everyone and anyone can have an opinion and throw things, as he lives out his life in the full glare of publicity. Surely not! We suspect the package offered would have to be the magnitude of Mr Blaine’s fee just to get anyone interested in taking the poisoned chalice. Talking of Mr Blaine, we wonder how freaked out he might be if a mime artist (pretending to be in an imaginary box) came up alongside. Finally, finally, for those of you seeking news on the impending arrival of McCall junior, the floating vortex of hormones over Stirlingshire should be the give away sign that nothing has arrived just yet…and why, because it just hasn’t, OK!!!
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and finally 26/9/03
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“ A gentleman ’s family ” There are times in life when the important becomes so blindingly obvious, and in some cases even makes what we all do from a professional standpoint pale into insignificance. Our very many thanks for the dozens of e-mails, txt messages, and cards on the arrival of Bill and Sheena’s daughter Fiona on Monday past. “A gentleman’s family” we understand (son and daughter) and we are still trying to work out who is the gentleman. In true Murdoch style, Cameron (3) will be appointed head of the Research Division next year and new baby COO in 2004. As an aside, we suggested a few weeks ago, very much tongue in cheek that, some retailers would be trotting out the “heat wave” as a valid excuse for getting their stock wrong. Well, if it’s not heat wave it’s unseasonal rain, etc etc. Step forward H&M (apparently a trendy shop for those who want to show off their midriff, and not some questionable bedroom behaviour, although midriff might be – we’ll stop digging now) with the “heat wave” excuse for poor trading.
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and finally 17/10/03
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"The appearance of a bobble hat" We can’t help but notice how pleasant the last few weeks of weather was, with our local river as low as we can remember. You get a feeling deep down that the worst is about to descend, and a quick look at the long range forecast suggests it will all change over the week-end, with the usual autumnal low pressure returning to bring dampness back to the country. The fine weather has also brought back a late appearance by the “invisible driver” generally in a small car and moving no faster than a small snail, and found frequenting rural roads to and from various tearooms. The giveaway is the appearance of a bobble hat above the headrest from time to time, lack of signals, and the inverse speeding disease, where they drive faster through a 30mph area than they do on the 50 or 60mph road beyond. You can, if you drive just 6 inches from their bumper, see Pan Drops rolling on the dashboard, and hear the conversation between driver and passenger. “It’s really quiet today, not a car in sight”. They’re behind you!! Finally, finally, we repeat from last week that we will continue our association with Marie Curie Cancer Care this year by providing the host for the 10th anniversary “Brain Game” in November (19th). It is a fun packed evening, and allows you to test your general knowledge and compete against the cream of the business world (cream being thick, yet still managing to make it to the top). If you want details on how to enter a team, just reply to this e-mail and we’ll be happy to make the connection with Marie Curie Cancer Care in Edinburgh. We hope to see as many TWTWTW recipients at the event as possible. Most importantly, the cause is worthy and we all know someone who has been touched by it.
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and finally 21/11/03
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“ National Tabloid in shocker ” What a star Mr President is, a man who uses the English language like a “Rubik’s cube”. We were heartened to hear that some of the cost of security will be recovered, as the Bush entourage pays the Congestion Charge whilst scooting around London. He must be asking TB, “what’s the congestion charge for Tiny, it’s been clear roads all the way whilst we’ve been here?”. Finally, finally, readers of a national tabloid were shocked to find that a member of the Royal family had obtained a job as a journalist under false pretences and references.
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and finally 28/11/03
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" Can you smell gas ?" Gardener Tom (resident gardener) and his apprentice were overheard in the grounds today - "Can you smell gas Tom?" he asked. "Don't be so stupid!" Tom replied, "I can't even smell my own name - I'm dyslexic". Finally, finally, our hearty congratulations to the Craneware team, recognised through CEO Keith Neilson winning the "emerging entrepreneur" award at last night's John Morgan show, sorry the Entrepreneurial Exchange dinner. This reflects the hard work and effort put in by Keith and co-founder Gordon Craig, and we're delighted to have been part of their story so far. Finally, finally, finally, the entrepreneurs of the City of Glasgow traffic department were at their "entrepreneurial" best last night too - must have been something in the air thanks to the large dinner in celebration of entrepreneurship. McCall senior, like 40 or so other car owners will have wondered what the ticket on the windscreen was in the wee small hours, thanks to parking behind the Hilton hotel (on the pavement). The ticket is timed 9pm, so there you have it, another £20 to the coffers. Glasgow - "Scotland with style"...indeed!
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"quiescence, improvement, confidence, prosperity, excitement, overtrading, convulsion, pressure, stagnation ... quiescence"
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Bagehot
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This document is not, and should not be construed as, an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy or subscribe for, any investment. McCall & Partners and McCall Research has based this document on information obtained from sources it believes to be reliable, but which they have not independently verified. McCall & Partners and McCall research make no guarantee, representation or warranty and take no responsibility or liability as to its accuracy or completeness. Expressions of opinion are those of the McCall Research team only and are liable to change without notice. Readers should seek suitably regulated and appropriate advice for their own circumstances.
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McCall Consulting and McCall Research are divisions of McCall & Partners Limited, a company registered in Scotland SC199803. This e-mail message is confidential and for use by the addressee only. Internet e-mails are not necessarily secure. McCall & Partners, and its trading divisions, do not accept responsibility for changes made to this message after it was sent. This message originates from the internet.
visit our web page www.mccallpartners.com
e-mail twtwtw@mccallresearch.com
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